Sonata of EBworld: or the most offensive Christmas
by Milleniumenjimon
Summary: Killer Yaoi sign: Miss Gryphon has a strange collection. Stella has a bad license plate and Musa mets Uncle Billy during the ride of death.
1. Default Chapter: It begins

BIG FAT WARNING:

If the Christmas episode of family guy (or any episode of family guy) has offended you please turn away now or grow a sense of humor.

()()()

Christmas, a time of niceness and giving; of family and friends and giving instead of receiving.

It's also a time of the year that Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living, thus we have to sing Christmas carols to lull him back to sleep.

This is the time of year that parents disown their children as they often come out of the closet around this time of year.

Tecna and her parents were still on "iffy" waters after last year, this year it was Bloom's turn.

It is the time of year to get together with family, or friends.

Since Musa (who has been revived as her normal self after Sonata of stuff) has no family she is coming along with Darcy to her family reunion/Christmas get together/whatever it is as a guest.

Since the author is too lazy to think up anything else for the other characters they will be together doing stupid stuff like Christmas shopping.

Prey for us all.

---

"Okay, why are we here?" Lucy snipped as she passed all the holiday cheeriness. "I don't even _like_ you, why am I helping you shop?"

"I was about to ask you that," Stella said but shrugged. "Oh well, since you're already here you can help me find a nice gift for by boyfriend, Brandon."

"Get bent pixie," Lucy said as she was about to walk away. But Stella grabbed her by the shoulders, "hey! What the?" The next thing she knew she was being used as a people plow to cut through the crowd to the nice things. So far she's,Lucy, has been stunned, pepper sprayed, elbowed, bitten and stuck in somebody's fat.

"Thanks for your help," Stella said as she dropped the witch onto a random bench while walking away. At that moment Flora was walking by and stopped for a moment, she dugged around for some change.

"Oh my," she said. "You need booze." Throwing some change at the comatose witch Flora continued on towards her destination. Passing Diaspro who was taking boxing lessons using a speed ball with Prince Sky's face on it. Since Flora is going no where fun let's focused our favorite spoiled princess. No, not Stella, Diaspro!

At the moment she was fuming because she had lost her love, Sky-

"Sky isn't my love, he was just a place holder." Diaspro said.

Hey, you're not suppose to hear the narrator!

"And the narrator should keep their facts straight." Diaspro finished boxing, except for one last blow that sent the speed ball all the way across the gym. "I found out really that I,"

The killer **_Yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi_** sign came crashing though the gym's roof killing people at random. And not just by crushing them but stabbing them too.

"**_I WANT TO DATE A WOMAN_**!"

"Diaspro, how can you say that?" Sky said as he appeared out of now where, completely unaware he is about to made into a "Kenny" joke. "All of the times we spend together, the borogroves, the tumtum trees, the pool inside of red fountain."

You never took me to the red fountain pool."

_Oops, that was Timmy._ "Uh, right!" Sky said when he noticed something, turning around he saw the killer **_Yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi_** sign. It had been stabbing him in the back for the past minute but Sky was so slow it didn't register that he was dead until _now_.

"Well, I'm down for a few chapters." Sky said before dying.

--(87)--

"Okay," Bloom said as she straiten out her bed. "We'll tell them tonight at dinner."

"May I suggest a different time," Tecna said while setting up her own bed on a futon. "It would be better to tell them when they are ether tired or very drunk."

"More logical?" Bloom asked.

"Nope, experience. Mom threw a stake knife the size of a yugo around the kitchen and broke a few plates."

"That's gotta suck."

"Yeah, but the next day I got a upgrade system for Christmas so things worked out fine."

()()()A bunch of crap!()()()

Next chapter: Santa is saved by Styx while the shinto gods and Optmas Prime stops a rampaging linkin log and Megatron.

Thrilling stuff people; you want to see it!


	2. Transformers, bad humor, flying authors ...

There are a few things that don't be long together; Bloom and prince Sky, Acclaim and games, American style football and tv and finally a Trix and booze.

Sadly, all the above have been mixed together too many times and each time there has been a diaster from each of them.

This time is with uncle Billy Joe Trix, who was driving a VW bug through walls, fences, mail boxes and the occasional dog. His passengers, Stormy and Musa, were screaming and writing their last wills entestiments.

"I here by bequeath my entire collection of Billy Joe albums to Flora," Musa read out loud.

"I was named after him," Billy said. He collided with Bernie Stolar, the evil creature flipped end over end and landed directly on his neck.

"Oh, I'm dying. But what's this? Bright gates, and it's warm too." Bernie held out a hand. "My old friends are here, the Genesis, 32X and... The Saturn? Wait, this isn't heaven."

All of a sudden he was surrounded by fire and pitchfork wielding consoles. "IT'S HELL!"

"We have a place for you," a Dreamcast chuckled. "In back!"

"Save me, Sonic Xtream!"

"That was odd," Musa said while she clutch to the handle bar.

"He deserved it," Stormy said while her uncle played bumper kick ball with a strange looking dog.

The VW bug came to a sudden stop as it crashed through a brick wall. On the other side Stormy's mother, Alexandria Trix, stood there with her jaw practically unhinged.

"Hell, what, the?" She stuttered while checking over the safety of her youngest daughter.

"Stupid sisters," Stormy said while shaky from her car ride. "They properly rigged that whole straw contest."

"Where's the liquor?" Billy said while walking through the destroyed room.

Musa stayed where she was seated too scared to move, it was going to be a long holiday.

--(TototototO)--

Cloud Tower.

Miss Gryphon tapped her fingers, her entire school was empty until this stupid holiday vacation was over. That means no one to be mean to, no power trips and no looming like an evil entity like she usually did.

It did cross her mind for a brief moment that she wasn't as bad as Miss Faragonda, she found that kind of odd but dismissed it.

Her teachers and consolers were with ether families or hookers, meaning it was just her. And the strange pondering of why Alfea employs very underhanded personnel, even she has her evil limits. Well, not as much as evil as cheating, underhanded entrapments they use.

"Okay, too much thinking." Miss Gryphon said to herself while leaning back in her chair, since no one was here she decided to tend to her secret hobby.

Transformer toys.

That's right, the meanest witch in the entire realms - excepting the last coven - has a collection of transformer toys hidden away in her office. Everything from G1 to Energon was laying behind her behemoth bookcases.

"Haha! You won't succeed Starscream!"

"What!" Starscream said while entering the office, "but I thought evil ruled this place. Oh I failed again."

--(Okay, that's just weird)--

Stella stopped by Brandon's place to find he had left to spend Christmas with his family, leaving her with no plans for this holiday.

"Oh, now what I got to do?" Stella walked out of the empty school. "Maybe I should go on some kind quest or something to kill some time."

That's when Armilla rode up on a scooter. "Hey, I was looking for the world's biggest idiot. And I found you!" She laughed as she road away.

_What was that about?_ Stella thought while heading to her newly bought car, her mother got her a nice pink convertible with everything including ninja insurance.

"Hey loooser," Mitzi shouted while in the back of a stretch limo. "I hope you don't hurt yourself while breathing!"

"Oh, that wasn't called for!" Stella shouted at the spoiled brat, she reached into the magical pocket of space (TM) and pulled out a bazooka. The end result was a good chuck of Red fountain's parking lot went up in smoke. Tossing away the weapon she was about to get into her car when she noticed something about her license plate.

It read: ASL - 17F.

"AW CRAP!" Stella shouted. She pounded her fist onto the trunk which popped open to reveal a nude Mirta.

"Hi."

"Uh, hi?" Stella was at a crossroads, ask why the red headed witch was in her trunk in the buff or deal with the nerdest license plate in the world.

"That was a good period of se-" Flora poked her head up, she was stark naked with her clothes laying around the trunk. "Hi Stella."

"Hello," Stella said meekly. "I'm... Going to close the trunk now."

"Would you?" Flora asked. Stella slowly closed the lid and backed away.

"N-a-s-t-y." Stella walked back up to the driver's side, she needs to speak to the DMV about the license plate. After she gets a old priest and a young priest though.

--(This chapter is almost over.)--

Tecna smiled at Bloom's parents, they were very nice people and seems very understanding.

Bloom was dropping hints about her and Tecna everywhere, even holding up a large sign with her and Tecna's picture on it with a pair of badly drawn hands in the center.

"When do we tell them?" Bloom asked while leaning in close to her girlfriend.

"Soon, Bloom, please just listen to logic and-"

"Mommy, Daddy! I'm a lesbian!"

"Of course not." Tecna shrugged deftly.

The room became silent.

And everyone is going to wait until the next chapter to find out what happens!

Oh hell, why not?

"A... Lesbian?" Vanessa said while holding a plate. "A lesbian?"

Tecna pushed over a table while pulling Bloom down with her, reemerging with a WW2 army helmet on.

"That's nice," Michael said while he too took cover behind a bomb blast shield. "Is Tecna your girlfriend?"

"A lesbian?"

"Yeah, she wanted to wait until later on to tell you guys." Bloom strap herself, preparing for the worst. "I don't know why, she's going to blow anyway."

"Because later on she be too sauced to see straight." Tecna informed her redheaded girlfriend.

"A l.. l.. ll. _lll_."

"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Michael shouted while hiding.

"_A_ **LESBIAN**!" There went Vanessa as she threw the plate, than grabbing everything else to throw. Plates went everywhere, silverware impale the walls as the facts settled into the woman's mind. She threw the main table through the air, grabbing nick-knacks and other random things.

"You think she's upset?" Tecna asked while a large jar with Einstein's brain flew over head.

"Nah, it's just a shock to her. She'll settle down once it's out of her system." Bloom watch as the author flew over head.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Milleniumenjimon said while sailing out the window.

Once the carnage was over Vanessa was back to her normal self.

"Tell me," she said in a sweet tone. "Any plans?"


	3. Betrayals and a big battle, cool

We're back to our favorite little dark and twisted town of Silent Hill. Only on this trip things have been cheered up much for the Christmas spirit. The Pyramid Heads wear green to go with the red after stalking a victim, many corpses were decorated with reefs and James decided to dress up as Santa Claus but wound up being locked up in the closet.

This is where Sky had been dropped off by his parents to do community service, Sky stood there on the corner waiting to be told what to do until his parents came back and took him to Brookhaven hospital and told to obey the nurses there.

"Okay," a deformed nurse said while straining to stand up straight but failed every time do to the large hump. "Do to your _special_ position I am going to have you hold this jar." She handed him a large jar filled with a rusty liquid.

The nurse walked away, leaving the blond to stand there for the next seven hours.

Since nothing will happen for a while let's move on.

--(Cat is good eating.)--

Tecna was placed into the guest room after the scene, for some reason like if Bloom brought home a boy for Christmas.

She shrugged, maybe during the middle of the night she could sneak into Bloom's room.

Naughty Tecna.

"HEY! No talking!"

Sorry.

_Somebody's going to have to do something about the author's constant interruption._ Tecna thought before straightening out her sheets. There has to be something to do for a while, Bloom had gone to the store and Michael had gone to work, maybe she should get to know Vanessa better.

Walking down the hall she saw the brunette finish clearing up the dinning area after the incident earlier.

"Hi," Tecna approach the table trying to be in a greetful manner. "Do you need any help..." Tecna looked around, completely unaware of what to do, even if there was something to do she had no clue as everything where she came from is automated.

"Filling the pepper?"

"That's okay," Bloom's mother said. "I'm sort of fine."

"Sort of?"

Vanessa sighed as she lean against the table rolling her head around on her neck. "You see, Michael and I are having certain troubles with somethings."

_I don't like where this is going,_ Tecna thought not wanting to be really involved with Bloom's parents' problems. "What kind of obstacle are in your path of eternal bliss?"

"Oh, one thing." Vanessa said, she suddenly tore off her homemaker clothes to revival an S & M outfit complete with paddle and leather mistress mask. "Take me you burning pile of hormone driven violet haired genius!"

"WHAT THE HELL!" Tecna turn, thinking that Bloom had caught them in classic "cheating-misunderstanding" cliché. But found she had screamed the "WHAT THE HELL!". She shouted it again after turning to be (wo)man handled by the brunette, Vanessa manage to pray open the front of Tecna's shirt revealing a green bra.

"ACK!" Tecna shouted as she zipped up her shirt before breaking away from the bondage-crazed housewife. She ran for Bloom's room and barracked the door.

"Mom." Bloom said as she open, she placed the small plastic bag of extra goodies on the table and walked into the hall where Vanessa was back in normal clothes and acting like nothing has happened. "_MOTHER_! Oh could you? She's my girlfriend." Bloom said within a second, she was in her room comforting a very disturbed Tecna.

"Well I was thinking that maybe she should be taught by someone very experienced." Vanessa said while creeping up on Tecna from behind, creeping both of them out.

"I don't want to be taught anything!" Tecna cried while holding onto Bloom even tighter.

"But I can teach pleasure is pain," Vanessa changed in a blink of an eye into a strange outfit, pink latex with a skirt that widen as it went down with fur trim everywhere.

"I don't know what sick and twisted place where pleasure is pain but I just want to be loved!" Tecna shouted while Bloom random the endless hall effect escaping the mad domimatrix.

"I can teach you how to _love_, I'm experience!"

"I want real love! I'm not a closet-sex-freak that wants to boink everyone in sight like the stereotype might suggest!"

"I love you TECNA!" Bloom said, changing into her vampire killer outfit from her quest only with shorts and a tank top under her long red coat and a upgraded whip too!

Four platforms took form and Vanessa grew in size, spitting three fireballs while Bloom whipped at them.

"Why?" Bloom said while jumping and attacking the beast's nose. "She's my girlfriend and your my mother, how could you?"

Vanessa's life bar drained and she took on a new form, this one was purple with a large cape that draped over the shoulders and a really funky bikini while two pillars took form.

"Because your father and I have been only together for you Bloom, no offense." She pulled out a sword and swung it around.

Bloom used the firewheel technique, soon Vanessa changed into a really big thing with many metal pieces and a orb covering her boobies.

"What does that have to mean?" Bloom manage to kick her ass after that.

"Enough Ninja Gaiden references!" Someone shouted.

The scene changed into a huge multi-platformed thing with tons of ladders, Tecna was entrapped behind a furred coat wearing Vanessa. Bloom just whipped the barrels that came downward and saved Tecna.

"You see I am really a lesbian!" Vanessa shouted as the background changed into a backdrop of stars and Bloom and Tecna were inside those ships from Gardius Gaiden, while Vanessa road inside of king fish.

"What, is everyone suddenly gay in Gardenia?" Bloom asked while firing off pink snoballs (the coconut treat).

"Why being happy be such a problem?" Tecna asked.

"Nope, just you and me." She jump out of the burning ship and.. Let's say became the second form of Omega, the final boss of MMZ3. "Your father just does me when I sleep and I go out for hookers, sadly there is none that would touch the same sex so when Tecna came here I lost control."

"You know what? If you won't respect my girlfriend as a person that I won't stay here! Let's go Tecna." Bloom said as she turn the Gardius ship around and flown off.

"HAHAHA! I will get you... How do you get out of this thing?" Vanessa said.

--(Vote Cthulu)--

Stormy looked out the window, looking back while Musa huddle near her while the rest of the family stood in the center. It would appear that Icy and Darcy had ditched them both.

"Good gods, it's your father!" Musa said in terror as Stormy's well meaning father wonder over, the strange thing is he looked like a throw back from a '50s tv show only eviler. And an anubis, he's a race of people called the Shinigami. But we won't bore you with the details, except for the fact he thinks that Musa is going out his daughter Stormy.

"How's are you doing?" He said while swirling around some eggnog. "Are you lovebird's doing fine?"

"We're not together!" Both Musa and Stormy shouted.

"Sure," Mr. Trix said before moving on.

Musa and Stormy kept their eyes out for Icy and Darcy.

--(Speaking of which. It's pretty much sister free. How odd.)--

Stella had so far driven down to the DMV in Magix to find it closed for Christmas. Cursing her luck she got back into her car ignoring the stupid taunts while heading home she was going to get to the bottom of this.

On the way there she past a love starved Princess Diaspro standing there leaning against the lamp post marking off ads in the personals.

_This one looks promising,_ she thought as she circled a ad. _MW female needs to meet a young and inexperienced girl, will help. I wonder what MW means, well she lives in Garendia._

Stella pulled into her parking place and enter her home, about to call the government and set things straight when she saw the tv on and saw Becker was on.

She sat down on the couch and watch.

Strange habits.

Next chapter:

Faragonda confronts Miss Griffin about her collect, with G. I. Joes!

And a bunch of other crap happens too.


	4. A hunt for the Tsuchinoko and a lot of a...

While her younger sister was suffering at the family get together she was comfortable in own room, there was no sisters to bother her and everyone else was at their parents.

Icy had nothing to really do except to avoid Miss Griffin and her collection. She was now feeding her pet nightmare gargoyle.

"There's got to be something to do," she said to herself. Back into her back, extra large throne and placing on the mighty evil queen crown she started to think.

"I need something to do while everyone is gone," she sat there for a moment. "I'll think of something."

That's when Miss Griffin walked in, "what are you doing here? I thought all the students went home already."

"Escaping my family, reason enough?"

"Good enough," the dean of the school for witches stood there for a moment. "Wanna here about some secrets I have?"

"Already heard about the transformer collection."

"...How about-"

"Know that Mirta is your daughter."

"...Okay than," Miss Griffin walked away. Icy tapped her finger, she'll think of something to do soon.

--(I flung that knife at Homer Simpson!)--

The offices of Tuber-Uber Games (formerly Uber-Tuber interactive.)

"And that's my problem," Stella said. "Can you help me?"

"A). No, not really, B). Why are you here?" Darcy asked while taking a minute from her programming.

"Because he's hear and her's a good listener!" Stella said while pointing towards Riven.

"Man, one time I listen that drunken blond and you're branded for life. I am so glad to have someone else now." Riven than munched on a cream cheese doughnut, "Hmm, cream cheesy."

"Granted but why can't you go somewhere else?" Darcy noted.

"Because everyone is everywhere, there's nobody else to talk to."

"How about we pretend there is someone and you go visit them?" Riven said, at the moment he was reaching for another doughnut when the filing cabinet (Chan in disguise) stole them. "What the!" Now Riven dons the Ninja exo-skeleton used by Grey fox in Metal Gear Solid. Surly a awesome battle follows with Chan emerging victorious.

"I better get going," Stella said while backing away slowly.

Riven returns to programming and everything was fine again.

--(I have writer's bloke, HELP!)--

"Don't you think your over reacting?"

"Great," Bloom said while piloting the Gardius ship. "We've met the _don't you think your over reacting_ quo for this story what do you think?"

"Don't you think you under reacted?"

"At the moment, kind of. But how are you do?"

"I'm going to take a loooong shower," Tecna said as the craft landed in the center court of Alfea. "Wanna join?"

Somewhere a fan's head just exploded.

--(Since we what those do are doing, we will move on else where for our story. That's right, no happiness for you!)--

"Okay, why won't they listen to us?" Musa asked Stormy while hiding away in the attic area. "I mean we are not a couple! Even though, you know. Being Bi and stuff."

Without warning for Musa but could be seen a mile away by the readers Stormy kissed Musa, another romantic mis-match made.

This where we all go awe and fade out.

--(Yep, another cut.)--

In a large theater a man dressed in a long, black jacket with messy bright red hair and green eyes, the "author", Milleniumenjimon, steps onto the stage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the audience," he says to the empty seats. "I am sorry but do to our over used special effects budget we will have to start using ads to keep the story going. Actually I just want to do a bunch of ad parodies bit at random so.." the author sticks out his tongue at the audience than left.

AD SPACE.

In a kitchen Milleniumenjimon sits in his real attire, a pair of shot jeans and a well worn black shirt, hunched over some bowl.

Timmy steps into the kitchen dressed in a three piece suit and better glasses. "How many times have this happen to you?"

"_How many time_ happen to what?" Milleniumenjimon said in a groggy state. He was unaware of the Yama nashi, Ochi nashi, Imi nashi sign climbing through the window wielding a knife. He turn around to see it coming and dashed off like a mad man.

"Tired of not catching that important victim?" Timmy said as the Killer YAOI sign hung around the kitchen to finish off the author's breakfast. Timmy held up both hands and with a spong a gun appeared. "Meet Speeshack's new, the torso piercing bullet launcher."

"How does it work?" The sign asked.

"Simple," Timmy said without turning around. Two big guys brought in a tied up Faragonda. "You aim the torso piercing bullet launcher, like so, and pull the trigger." He shot Faragonda, several times.

"That will save on a lot of running time!"

"It sure will."

--(Special report)--

The author walks back on stage. "Do to our embarrassing the entire internet we have been awarded special effects money if we don't do ads anymore, oh and if I don't appear anymore."

The curtains pulled up to reveal a large crystal staircase. "So avert your gaze!"

--(... Nothing here.)--

Icy sat at her throne for many hours, her legs have basically fallen asleep by now and she was still thinking of what to do.

"Aha! I know what to do!" Icy said while standing up, "I will hunt down..." She fell flat on her face do to the circulation returning to her legs. "The Tsuchiniko."

--(999999999)--

When we last left Sky he was holding a jar of red stuff, now that his service to the community is done he is free to roam the streets of Silent Hill.

While coming around the corner he ran into everybody's favorite writer (or whatever the hell he said he is), Harry Mason.

"Have you seen a little girl around here? She's about this high and has black hair," Harry said while gesturing.

Sky just stood there blinking.

"So she went to the school?"

Sky stood there blinking.

"Is that a conformation?"

He blinked twice.

"Okay that," Harry walked off to find his daughter.

"Okay, bye than." He said. Sky was now at large in the town of Silent Hill!


	5. Twix and Trix, plus America's hat Canada...

There are a few things to remember about trying to steal your daughter's girlfriend out from under nose.

**_ONE._**

Your husband will be mad if he ever finds out, key word _if_.

_**TWO.**_

Your relationship with your daughter will be vastly jeopardized if she finds out about it. Yet again, key word _if_.

**_THREE._**

When it all blows up in your face you're on your own.

"_WHY_!"

"Because it's the way I am, the only reason we stuck together is for Bloom!" Vanessa said.

"Not that, about trying to steal her girlfriend?!" Michael said.

"Oh, that. Well, she's pretty hot and I couldn't help myself. She even wears that funky, racy pink bra they sale at B & J adult store."

"That's n- pink bra?" Michael dazed off for a moment but regained focus. "No, no. Vanessa, what you do was wrong; not take pict- I mean hitting on Tecna."

"Okay, now what we do? Say we're sorry?" Vanessa crossed her arms actually feeling back for her decision.

"No, there's no _I'm sorry I tried to hump your girlfriend during Christmas_ cards and being in person might makes things worse," Michael thought about it. "No, wait; they do sale that type of cards, next to the _I'm sorry to burn down the firehouse again_ card."

"Alright, so we can't say I'm sorry in person than how about we send them a gift?"

"Like what?"

"...Porn?"

"Sounds good," Michael said before grabbing his coat.

"Where you going?"

"I gotta, get some cards... A lot of cards," Michael babbled half heartily. "Stupid dog, looked at me funny."

--(We are the knights that say _NEE_)--

Back the sub-plot of Stella's license plat woes, we find our favorite blond princess sitting in front of a Family Mart (a chain of Japanese convenient stores) eating a tofu dog and some instant ramen.

_Damn license plate,_ Stella thought. _It's gotten me into more trouble than that time I wore that really skanky shirt to that one ball... Whatever happen to that shirt anyway?_

FLASHBACK.

"I will win back my love," Usagi said as she riffle through the trash of some formal ball. She managed to pull out a very slutty shirt, being naked isn't as bad as wearing this thing.

"This will do!"

END FLASHBACK.

"Hey, I've been lo-" Stella punched the speaker without even turning around. There has been a lot of those lately.

She needs to figure out a way to change the license plate, or at least cover it up. Yet the former isn't going to happen soon and the latter would just land her in more trouble.

The last solution? Sale the damn thing.

She shrugged, her and her mother were never on good terms anyway. It would be no big lose, with her luck the license plate was probably done on prepose. Looking around, finding a suitable sucker in a cyran hair woman with a unusual figure, yellow eyes, wild, spiky hair and a very revealing ou- awe hell it's Ryoko from Tenchi Muyo.

"Excuse me," Stella called the attention of Ryoko. Stella walked over and gestured towards the car, "you want this car? It's for sale cheap!"

Ryoko scoffed at the car, "like I would want that hunk of crap- URK!"

"_Listen to me carefully_," Stella said as she held the space pirate by the throat. " I _SAID_ you **_WANT_** this car, not as a question, but you will give me money and you walk away with a new car and both your legs. Now hand over cash you Tenchi-stealing, Aeka-putting down, sex fiend that make many fans hate Sakuya!"

Ryoko handed over whatever cash she had at hand, Stella handed over the title and threw the space pirate across the parking lot just for kicks.

Now that Stella had sold her car she was free of the ASL-17F plate,meaning her quest is over.

Yay!

--(Pray to the CAPCOM gods!)--

Back at Tuber-Uber games, we find our favorite couple (or mine at least) standing by the water cooler.

"Is it me or is Boyer's Halo session a little more R-rated than normal?" Darcy asked.

"More like NC-17, but who can blame him?"

"Right," there was a moment of silence. "Is it me or have I become more evil as time goes on?"

Riven panicked, it was the witch's version of _am I fat_. Looking for an escape he snag a twix bar and shoved it into his mouth while talking.

Darcy smiled, "thank you."

--(That was a rip.)--

"How the love birds?" Mr. Trix asked as he checked on the two girls. "Getting a long nicely I see."

Musa and Stormy were still in the attic, Musa was shocked that Stormy had kissed her and Stormy was shocked it was good.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone," Mr. Trix said before leaving. Afterwards the two girls started to make out.

They stopped for a moment, wondering if this was what they both wanted. But shrugged and went back to making out.

--(elsewhere.)--

There has been one character that has only a mention in the previous chapters, I'm talking about that brunette squire Brandon.

Where is he? What happen to him? Well, it started a few days before vacation...

FLASHBACK.

The Winx Club was in the Specialist's dorm having a small party when Brandon decided to ask Flora down to a game of King Of Fighters '99. The timid girl agreed, picking a singles match it went like this.

Flora picked her character and striker first as Brandon was being a gentleman. After Flora picked Iori along with K' on striker. That's when Brandon picked his characters...

"Bao and Chin!" Flora said a little upset, she didn't want to hurt her friend's feeling by beating him so easily. "Brandon, please choose another team, they are the jokes of fighting game, they're jokes period!"

"I know what I am doing." Brandon said.

Flora fell silent and worried about her friend.

"_**WHAT THE FUCK!!**_

" 

Until Brandon own with two perfect rounds.

"How the hell does any, and I do mean _ANYONE_, manage to use those two?" Flora was out of characterily P.O.'ed, you would be too if you lost as badly as she did.

"A). Using the same move and combo, no matter how mixed up, will be a downfall, B). I placed a lot of game time into learning to use them and C). You just suck."

"Die! DIE! **DIE**!" Flora shouted as she pounded away at his head while strangling him.

"You... Still... Suck.." Brandon said while being strangled.

And since than he kind of disappeared from the story.


	6. The shortest chapter yet, maybe who the ...

"So, what are you going to do?" Tecna said while unpacking her suitcase.

"With what?" Bloom asked while taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Do you mean about that traitorous being I use to call mother before she try to steal you away from me?"

"No, I mean when you finally graduate from Alfea?"

"Oh, my bad. I guess maybe... I haven't a slightest clue," Bloom thought about this while one of her roommate, Flora, walked in. "Hello, Flora; how's your holiday?"

"Oh.. Um.. Very... Interesting."

"Did they ever find Brandon?" Tecna piped in.

"No," Brandon said far below the school making the rotating doughnut stand in the cafeteria move by the slave powered thingy while Timmy whipped him. "After lunch, can I whip you?"

"No."

"Awe, no fair."

Tecna shivered while the other shivered, that was very disturbing.

To wash out that nasty mental image we'll move on to another character.

--(Here we go.)--

Stella was walking home after saling her car to that oddball slut. She turn a corner when-

"AHAHAHA! I found you, Tsuchinoko!" Icy shouted as she reared the large butterfly net and brought it down. She saw it was a very pissed Stella, "AHAHAHA! I found you, Stella!"

"Get the net off me."

"Yes ma'am."

"What the are you after _now_?" Stella placed her hands on her hips, "a mystical stone, a holy grail, golden mirrors that summon a Pegasus?"

"Well I am sorry," Sailor Moon said. "Those damn things help me save the world because I have no skills of any kind."

"Is that my slutty shirt that I threw out?" Stella raised a brow.

"It's so slutty even I won't wear it," Icy said.

"Hey, I NEED this to win back my freaking love of my life after I really botch royal with this Seiya guy." Sailor Moon snapped as she went off to stalk her "true love".

"With an attitude like that no wonder she's always being betrayed," Icy noted.

"She's worse than Bloom when she gets a PMS on, anyway what are you doing now?"

"I'm hunting Tsuchinoko," Icy said. As it was pretty obvious from the safari gear and large butterfly net.

"Alright. What's a Tsuchinoko?" Stella asked.

"Well, it's a worm like creature with the face that is described as an cute thing and worth a lot of money. It's also very elusive and never been caught."

Stella was silent.

"Are you high?"

"Why I am, Stella."

More silence.

"Okay, what I want you to do is lay down on the ground and not get up for a long time," Stella guided the ice witch down than slowly walked away. Far away, until she bumped into Sailor Moon.

"I will get you back," she mumbled before being placed on the ground by Stella as she walked slowly away.

--(hot dogs, armor hot dogs.)--

"Is it gone?"

"No, it's still there!"

"We must have more acid, we must wash our eyes of that image!"

"Unclean, unclean!"

--(Nee)--

Diaspro stood before the house, looking at the address than the ad and try to figure out if she wanted to do this.

The door opened to reveal Vanessa in her S&M outfit with a leather whip. "Oh, goody, another parpicitant."

"Oh hell!" Diaspro said before trying to run off.

"Wait, there's many things I can teach you! Many, many wonderful things!" Vanessa said while hoping into the R-type ship and giving chase.

"I want a girlfriend," Diaspro shouted. "Not some psychopathic dominator!"

"How about a slave? I can be a slave."

Diaspro stopped. "Okay."

()()()()()

Wow, that was short. But eh, I got somethings going on.


	7. It ends, for now! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA co...

"You know, there appears to be more people living in this town," Mitzi said while sucking on a lollypop. "If this keeps up I'll no longer be the richest, or the whorest, girl in town."

"Don't worry," Michael said. "I can solve that."

"Really how?"

"Easy, I'll use Charles Darwin's-" Michael reach behind his back and produced...

_**THE CHAINSAW OF NATURAL SELECTION!!**_

--(We are the knights that go; walla walla wing bang.)--

It was a sucky Christmas eve for one Timmy, first he woke up at 5:00 to find his fridge empty so he was left starving.

Stress meter - 1.

Timmy was about to sit down to watch some of his favorite shows, he found only Christmas specials and infomercials for Christmas related products. By 5:30 am the power went out.

Stress meter - 3.

Timmy cursed his electric heating while stumbling around the dark until he found his bed and curled up until dawn.

Once the sun was out he got dressed in his freezing apartment to head out into the city streets. While heading to the city hall, which was down the street, he noticed that there was no one home after the power shorted out.

He was freezing as he turn the corner and found the city hall closed for the holidays.

He was forced to walk all the way back home in the cold.

Stress meter - 4.

Timmy shivered as he enter the small house, he sat down and picked up his gameboy advance. When turn it on, it didn't start up. In fact it just stayed blank screened, the batteries were dead and they were the last ones.

Stress meter - **_MELTDOWN_**.

--(Yuyuyuyuyu)--

Salidin turn on his tv for his favorite movie when a special report came on.

"Today a young man went on a rampage with toasters on his hands cursing out the holidays. He was reportedly beating anyone he can find with his toastered fist before climbing on top of the royal church and tearing down the cross."

There was a picture of a crazed Timmy swinging from the cross while swinging around a toaster.

"Oh, I'm going to be blamed for this," Salidin said while pretending not to exist.

--(Yay, Christmas is finally over!)--

Christmas has come and gone, Stormy was packing her things while Musa did the same.

"How are we going to explain this to the others?" Musa asked.

"Simple, they don't like they can choke on it."

"Good enough for me! So, who's driving us to the airport?"

"Uncle Billy Joe," Stormy shivered at the mere thought of going through the horror of playing _where's the road_ on the neighbor's lawn.

"Did you break into the liquor cabinet?"

"Oh yeah."

--(This is the ending chapter! NOOO!)--

Icy hadn't found the Tsuchinoko like she planned on, and since Christmas ended at long last she'll save the quest for ether the sequel or next Christmas.

She found Darcy back at her favorite vanity mirror ignoring the white hair ice witch.

Icy shrugged and enter the main school area where a lot of witches were coming home from their families, among them was Mirta.

In the mood to torture someone Icy teleported herself down in front of the freshman, "hello Mirta, how was your time with your _girlfriend_."

"Fine, actually we had a very nice time," Mirta said. "I know _she's_ behind me."

"Yep."

"That's alright, mom and I aren't on speaking terms anyway." Mirta said while walking away.

"She takes all the fun out of this," Icy told Muss Gryphon.

--(And now over here.)--

Sky had wonder back home, to much disappointment (and amazement) of some he was placed back into his caged owned by Diaspro (and now Vanessa too.)

"I hope Bloom forgives me for what I done."

The author walks out of the closet, "it ain't going to happen in this story, maybe next time."

"Why's that?" Diaspro asked.

"Because it's the last chapter," the killer yaoi sign said before shooting Sky. "Man, I love this thing!"

"Couldn't you just extend to more chapters?" Vanessa asked, "because I really want to make up with my daughter."

"Nope, I want to do a follow up to _Inugami_." And with that Milleniumenjimon walked away. "That I might do a follow up to this."

"Well, let's see how the other's are coming from their vacation." Diaspro said. They stared down at the next segment.

--(When will the jokes stop? About chapter 1.)--

"Well, that's the whole story?" Bloom said while sitting in the movie theater, "what a rip, it was too open ended."

"It's as if he wants to do a sequel."

At this point half of the audience screamed _**RIP-OFF**_ while the other half screamed _**NO**_!

"Damn this injustice," Tecna said. "There must be something to salvage this nightmare of a Christmas fic... Quick, let's make out."

That's when the entire audience's heads exploded.

Bloom jumped Tecna's bones while ripping off each other clothes.

The rest of this chapter has been censored.

()()()()()()

This story finally _ENDED_!

Kind of a sucky ending but the story said "end me, start anew later."

Besides, this is a Christmas fic and that holiday is over. That and it would be rude to have more than three stories in a single category going at the same time.

Silly me, n.n.

Later!


End file.
